Category / Turkey Talk

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What Might Have Been

When I was young, maybe 10 or so, I apparently became enamored with the UCLA Bruin cartoon mascot.  I remember having the light blue t-shirt with the gold lettering and the cartoon bear, probably the only kid in suburban Chicago with such a shirt who had no connection to the school, and had determined that this is where I was going to go for college.  What that actually meant, I’m sure I had no idea, but that was my goal.  Unfortunately, my mom made sure to extinguish those dreams pretty quickly, letting me know in no uncertain terms that it was too far away and there was no way I would be going there.

I mean, what was the harm in letting a young kid dream?  Who even knew if it would have lasted or, if it did, if I would have even gotten in?  Anyway, by the time I hit high school and it was time to start seriously thinking about where I was going to go to school, UCLA never even entered the picture.  I visited four schools, applied to three, and ended up going to the only one outside the Illinois state borders: Purdue University.

Those childhood dreams were a distant memory by the time I graduated and made my first ever trip to California in 1998.  Still, the closest I came to Los Angeles was San Diego until 2014.  I’ve made a number of return trips to LA since then and occasionally thought of maybe adding in a trip to Westwood to at least see the campus, but it never got past that point.  It didn’t seem likely that I would ever see what I had missed out on, and that was ok.

In 2022, however, things changed.  In a surprise announcement, UCLA and USC were going to be joining the Big Ten, which opened up the possibility of heading west for a football or basketball game.  While UCLA football plays at the Rose Bowl in Pasadena, nearly 30 miles from campus, Pauley Pavilion was smack dab in the middle of the action.  This past January, with realistic national title contention hopes still alive, Purdue basketball made their first trip to California for conference play.  And I was joining them.

After an early afternoon tour of Dodger Stadium on a Tuesday in late January, we headed west towards the UCLA campus.  After finding an overpriced parking spot, we started walking towards the arena, which is on the campus, passing students, faculty, and buildings along the way.  We were early, so we had the opportunity to just sit and take it all in for a bit, before getting in line for the game.  Decked out in gold and black instead of blue and gold, I was finally in Westwood and 10-year-old me was thrilled!  Sadly, the Bruins outlasted the Boilermakers that night and their souvenir cup game was lacking, but I came home with a John Wooden bobblehead, a legend at both schools, and a 40-year-old itch finally scratched.

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Tired Discourse – Booing

In January of 2025, the good folks at Defector.com published a list of 35 topics that have been discussed to within an inch of their life here on the internet.  Lucky for me, I haven’t publicly commented on most, if not all, of these topics, so I figured why not dip my toes into the fray on occasion.  We will continue today with the next question on their list:

Booing

I am going to assume this is related to sporting events and not, say, live theater or something along those lines.  Further still, let’s assume also that we are talking about professionals.  If you feel the need to boo at little league or high school games, then I suggest seeking professional help.

Booing is, of course, inherent in the contract between sporting teams and their fans, with the price of the ticket giving the right to express displeasure (or pleasure) with the product on the field.  Having attended my fair share of sporting events over the years, I can say that the majority of fans utilize that right judiciously.  And, as I get older, my need to seriously boo anything that happens on the field has diminished.

 

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Tired Discourse – Body Counts

In January of 2025, the good folks at Defector.com published a list of 35 topics that have been discussed to within an inch of their life here on the internet.  Lucky for me, I haven’t publicly commented on most, if not all, of these topics, so I figured why not dip my toes into the fray on occasion.  We will continue today with the third question on their list:

Body Counts

Do. Not. Matter.

Once you are out of high school, the number of people your partner, or soon-to-be partner, has slept with doesn’t matter.  At all.  Were they safe?  Have they been tested and are disease free or disease managed?  Yes, those are important questions.  But the raw number, and judging someone based on that?  Ridiculous puritanical bullshit.

Every experience you and your partner have had has brought the two of you to the same place.  Passing judgement on someone because their path curves more or less than yours accomplishes what exactly?  Grow up.  Mature.  Focus on the things that matter.  And, if at the end of the day, the number really is important to you and you can’t stop yourself from judging?  At least admit that you are the one with the problem.

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Tired Discourse – Do Bisexuals Exist?

In January of 2025, the good folks at Defector.com published a list of 35 topics that have been discussed to within an inch of their life here on the internet.  Lucky for me, I haven’t publicly commented on most, if not all, of these topics, so I figured why not dip my toes into the fray on occasion.  We will continue today with the third question on their list:

Do Bisexuals Exist?

Yes.

Oh, you want more? I think one of the biggest fallacies of human existence is that sexuality is a binary.  There is so much evidence, both in human behavior and in animal behavior in nature, that proves otherwise, that sexuality is a spectrum.  Some people (probably less than you think) do tilt the extreme ends of each side of the spectrum, while the vast majority fall somewhere along the line.

There’s an old saying that “all women are inherently bisexual” and I think the truth to that is that it is more socially acceptable for women to show any form of bisexuality than it is for men.  Two drunk “straight” women kissing at a party is met with raucous cheers.  Imagine the reaction if two men did the same.

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Tired Discourse – Tipping

In January of 2025, the good folks at Defector.com published a list of 35 topics that have been discussed to within an inch of their life here on the internet.  Lucky for me, I haven’t publicly commented on most, if not all, of these topics, so I figured why not dip my toes into the fray on occasion.  We will continue today with the third question on their list:

Tipping

To start, here are two things that are absolutely true:

  1. If you can’t afford to tip, then you can’t afford to go out
  2. Tipping culture has gotten way out of control post-lockdown

Look, in a perfect world, servers would be paid a proper wage by their employers and tipping could then truly be reserved as a reward for excellent service.  We, however, do not live in a perfect world.  If you don’t want to tip, or can’t afford to tip, then the harsh reality is that you need to refrain from frequenting those establishments where tipping is legitimately required.  It isn’t fair to make some worker essentially pay to take care of you because you don’t think the social contract applies to you.

You’ll notice I said legitimately required, though.  Post-COVID, the number of POS systems explicitly asking for, if not totally expecting, a tip has exploded tenfold.  I am not the bad guy if I don’t add a tip my total at the local gyros shop.  If I go to a pizza place to pick up my own pie, you do not get a tip.  Handing me a pre-wrapped hot dog at a concession stand at the ballpark is also not a scenario where a tip is required.

What about tip percentages?  This is obviously going to vary by location.  The old standard of 15% doesn’t seem to cut it anymore, but 20% seems more than fair.  There are plenty of AI generated memes on the social media channels that will claim you should be giving upwards of 30% and some of the pre-programmed choices on these new POS systems do tend towards a higher payout, but that doesn’t mean you need to do it.

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Tired Discourse – How Early You Should Get To The Airport

In January of 2025, the good folks at Defector.com published a list of 35 topics that have been discussed to within an inch of their life here on the internet.  Lucky for me, I haven’t publicly commented on most, if not all, of these topics, so I figured why not dip my toes into the fray on occasion.  We will continue today with the second question on their list:

How Early You Should Get to the Airport

I have experienced the two complete opposite sides of this spectrum, so I think I can provide some good insight.  Once, in order to save some money on a night at the hotel in Las Vegas, I arrived at the airport the night before my early morning flight.  (Side note: I do not recommend this.)  Another time, due to an accident and unplanned for traffic, I was still on my way to the airport as my flight began boarding.  Neither situation is optimal.

The hard part is that there is no clear cut, across the board answer and, even if there were, variables like distance you are travelling to the airport and traffic conditions along the way will make hitting that target time extremely difficult.  Plus, each individual person is going to have different stressors, so even finding an ideal answer among a single travelling party may not be possible.

Anyway, this is boring.  Find what makes you comfortable and try to show up then.

 

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Tired Discourse – Is Die Hard A Christmas Movie

In January of 2025, the good folks at Defector.com published a list of 35 topics that have been discussed to within an inch of their life here on the internet.  Lucky for me, I haven’t publicly commented on most, if not all, of these topics, so I figured why not dip my toes into the fray on occasion.  We will start today with the first question on their list:

Is Die Hard a Christmas Movie?

Die Hard, the now-classic action movie released in July of 1988, stars Bruce Willis as a New York city police officer who travels to Los Angeles to see his estranged wife and kids and ends up interrupting a terrorist attack, saving his wife and (most of) her co-workers from a certain death.  At first glance, nothing about this screams Christmas movie.  But, the movie’s setup only works because the action takes place on Christmas Eve.

Why is Willis’s Det. John McClane in Los Angeles?  To see his family for Christmas.  Why is he meeting his wife at her office?  It’s their Christmas party.  Why are the terrorists attacking now?  It is Christmas Eve and, aside from the people at the party, who are needed to give the terrorists the access they need, the building is deserted.

Now, detractors will say that you can strip out the Christmas trappings and have basically the same movie.  Which, for the most part, is probably true.  That said, those trappings are not stripped out and very much exist in the film, tying it directly to the holiday season.

So, bottom line, is Die Hard a Christmas movie?  Of course it is.  Is it a traditional Christmas movie.  No, I will concede that point.  But Christmas drives the plot, in the movie as it actually exists versus some make-believe alternate version.  And what embodies the spirit of Christmas more than overcoming obstacles of circumstance to reunite with your loved ones for the holiday?

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Welcome To 2026

For the first time since 2011, I don’t have a calendar to ring in each month of the new year, so we will have to play things by ear throughout the year.  Today, we celebrate the completion of an arbitrarily selected rotation of the Earth around the sun and look forward to a new year ahead.