Category / Turkey Talk

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Tired Discourse – Who Pays For The First Date?

In January of 2025, the good folks at Defector.com published a list of 35 topics that have been discussed to within an inch of their life here on the internet.  Lucky for me, I haven’t publicly commented on most, if not all, of these topics, so I figured why not dip my toes into the fray on occasion.  We will continue today with the next question on their list:

Who Pays for the First Date?

First, let’s look at this from the heteronormative point of view.  There are two schools of thoughts here and either one can be appropriate based on the situation.  Traditionally, the man would pay for the date, especially early in the relationship.  Of course, the man would traditionally be the one asking for the date as well.  The more recent point of view, which likely coincides with a greater incidence of women asking men out or apps doing the heavy lifting for both sides is that whoever asks should be the one who pays.  Honestly, either way works for me, although, in my limited experience, I have always felt compelled to pay for the date regardless of who asked who.  The whoever asks should pay route also makes the most sense for same sex dates, I would think.

As the relationship becomes more solidified, however, it might make more sense to start splitting the responsibilities.  Nobody wants to be six months in and feel like they are just there to foot the bill every time you go out.  Of course, if there is a large gap in wealth/earnings between the couple, then that is a different story.

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Tired Discourse – Should A Video Game Have A Woman In It?

In January of 2025, the good folks at Defector.com published a list of 35 topics that have been discussed to within an inch of their life here on the internet.  Lucky for me, I haven’t publicly commented on most, if not all, of these topics, so I figured why not dip my toes into the fray on occasion.  We will continue today with the next question on their list:

Should a Video Game Have a Woman in It?

Way back in 2014, a group of losers started pushing back against feminism, diversity, and progressivism in video game culture.  Known as Gamergate, this misogynistic online harassment campaign targeted women who worked on, reported on, or even just played video games.

Obviously, video games, whether the games themselves or the people who create, report on, and play them, should include women.  And if that is a controversial stance to you, then you should probably be seeking professional help.

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Tired Discourse – Irish Goodbyes

In January of 2025, the good folks at Defector.com published a list of 35 topics that have been discussed to within an inch of their life here on the internet.  Lucky for me, I haven’t publicly commented on most, if not all, of these topics, so I figured why not dip my toes into the fray on occasion.  We will continue today with the next question on their list:

Irish Goodbyes

First, let’s define what this is.  Google’s AI bullshit says an Irish goodbye (also known as an Irish exit) “is the act of leaving a social gathering or party quietly and unannounced without telling the host or other guests.”  The term originated in America in the 19th century as a derogatory idiom despite bearing no relation to the behavior of actual Irish folks.  So, is it acceptable?  I guess it depends on the size of the gathering.  If there’s, say, 20 or more people at said gathering, feel free.  Nobody should particularly notice.  If it is a smaller gathering, then you should probably just face the music and say a proper goodbye, even if it is to the group as a whole.

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Tired Discourse – Polyamory

In January of 2025, the good folks at Defector.com published a list of 35 topics that have been discussed to within an inch of their life here on the internet.  Lucky for me, I haven’t publicly commented on most, if not all, of these topics, so I figured why not dip my toes into the fray on occasion.  We will continue today with the next question on their list:

Polyamory

First, let’s define what this is.  Google’s AI bullshit says it is “the practice of having more than one romantic or sexual relationship at the same time. It requires the full knowledge, agreement, and consent of all people involved. It is a form of ethical non-monogamy that focuses on open communication and honesty.”  As long as everyone involved is aware and consenting, you do you, player.

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Tired Discourse – Followback Culture

In January of 2025, the good folks at Defector.com published a list of 35 topics that have been discussed to within an inch of their life here on the internet.  Lucky for me, I haven’t publicly commented on most, if not all, of these topics, so I figured why not dip my toes into the fray on occasion.  We will continue today with the next question on their list:

Followback Culture

First, let’s define what this is.  Google’s AI bullshit says “Follow back culture is the social media practice of returning a follow when someone follows your account, often driven by community expectations, reciprocal growth, and perceived politeness.”  At one point in time, I think this was an appropriate expectation, back when social media was populated by actual people.  If somebody gave you a follow and there was no overt reason not to follow back, it was certainly the polite thing to do.  That said, in today’s world, where 99 out of every 100 posts you see is coming from a Russian bot designed to destabilize the foundations of America’s democracy or trying to push their AI-generated OnlyFans page, that expectation is out the window.  Follow me if you like, but I’m not following you back.

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What Might Have Been

When I was young, maybe 10 or so, I apparently became enamored with the UCLA Bruin cartoon mascot.  I remember having the light blue t-shirt with the gold lettering and the cartoon bear, probably the only kid in suburban Chicago with such a shirt who had no connection to the school, and had determined that this is where I was going to go for college.  What that actually meant, I’m sure I had no idea, but that was my goal.  Unfortunately, my mom made sure to extinguish those dreams pretty quickly, letting me know in no uncertain terms that it was too far away and there was no way I would be going there.

I mean, what was the harm in letting a young kid dream?  Who even knew if it would have lasted or, if it did, if I would have even gotten in?  Anyway, by the time I hit high school and it was time to start seriously thinking about where I was going to go to school, UCLA never even entered the picture.  I visited four schools, applied to three, and ended up going to the only one outside the Illinois state borders: Purdue University.

Those childhood dreams were a distant memory by the time I graduated and made my first ever trip to California in 1998.  Still, the closest I came to Los Angeles was San Diego until 2014.  I’ve made a number of return trips to LA since then and occasionally thought of maybe adding in a trip to Westwood to at least see the campus, but it never got past that point.  It didn’t seem likely that I would ever see what I had missed out on, and that was ok.

In 2022, however, things changed.  In a surprise announcement, UCLA and USC were going to be joining the Big Ten, which opened up the possibility of heading west for a football or basketball game.  While UCLA football plays at the Rose Bowl in Pasadena, nearly 30 miles from campus, Pauley Pavilion was smack dab in the middle of the action.  This past January, with realistic national title contention hopes still alive, Purdue basketball made their first trip to California for conference play.  And I was joining them.

After an early afternoon tour of Dodger Stadium on a Tuesday in late January, we headed west towards the UCLA campus.  After finding an overpriced parking spot, we started walking towards the arena, which is on the campus, passing students, faculty, and buildings along the way.  We were early, so we had the opportunity to just sit and take it all in for a bit, before getting in line for the game.  Decked out in gold and black instead of blue and gold, I was finally in Westwood and 10-year-old me was thrilled!  Sadly, the Bruins outlasted the Boilermakers that night and their souvenir cup game was lacking, but I came home with a John Wooden bobblehead, a legend at both schools, and a 40-year-old itch finally scratched.

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Tired Discourse – Booing

In January of 2025, the good folks at Defector.com published a list of 35 topics that have been discussed to within an inch of their life here on the internet.  Lucky for me, I haven’t publicly commented on most, if not all, of these topics, so I figured why not dip my toes into the fray on occasion.  We will continue today with the next question on their list:

Booing

I am going to assume this is related to sporting events and not, say, live theater or something along those lines.  Further still, let’s assume also that we are talking about professionals.  If you feel the need to boo at little league or high school games, then I suggest seeking professional help.

Booing is, of course, inherent in the contract between sporting teams and their fans, with the price of the ticket giving the right to express displeasure (or pleasure) with the product on the field.  Having attended my fair share of sporting events over the years, I can say that the majority of fans utilize that right judiciously.  And, as I get older, my need to seriously boo anything that happens on the field has diminished.

 

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Tired Discourse – Body Counts

In January of 2025, the good folks at Defector.com published a list of 35 topics that have been discussed to within an inch of their life here on the internet.  Lucky for me, I haven’t publicly commented on most, if not all, of these topics, so I figured why not dip my toes into the fray on occasion.  We will continue today with the third question on their list:

Body Counts

Do. Not. Matter.

Once you are out of high school, the number of people your partner, or soon-to-be partner, has slept with doesn’t matter.  At all.  Were they safe?  Have they been tested and are disease free or disease managed?  Yes, those are important questions.  But the raw number, and judging someone based on that?  Ridiculous puritanical bullshit.

Every experience you and your partner have had has brought the two of you to the same place.  Passing judgement on someone because their path curves more or less than yours accomplishes what exactly?  Grow up.  Mature.  Focus on the things that matter.  And, if at the end of the day, the number really is important to you and you can’t stop yourself from judging?  At least admit that you are the one with the problem.