All I wanted was to say goodbye<\/p>\n
I’ve known this day was coming.\u00a0 I wasn’t expecting it to be today.\u00a0 I also was expecting it to be today, if that makes any sense.\u00a0 I think that’s why I sent the text<\/p>\n
Would you have told me if I hadn’t texted?\u00a0 Or would I have found out days later thanks to Instagram or Facebook?\u00a0 That question will haunt me for months<\/p>\n
I cycle quickly through different stages of grief.\u00a0 Skipping denial and acceptance, for the most part<\/p>\n
Anger… why today?\u00a0 why wouldn’t you tell me?\u00a0 why do you keep avoiding saying goodbye?<\/p>\n
Depression… did I not matter?\u00a0 is this the end of our friendship?\u00a0 will I ever see you again?<\/p>\n
All I wanted was to say goodbye<\/p>\n
Is it too hard for you?\u00a0 Or too easy, not worth the trouble.\u00a0 That question will also haunt me for months<\/p>\n
I send another text.\u00a0 Wishing you the best.\u00a0 Sending my love and that I will miss you.\u00a0 Holding you to the lunch we were supposed to have this week<\/p>\n
You reply “Deal”<\/p>\n
No love, no missing, just Deal.\u00a0 So we will see each other again out of obligation?<\/p>\n
I wanted more.\u00a0 I needed more.\u00a0 I expected… well, about this<\/p>\n
I get through work, somehow.\u00a0 I feel alone for the first time despite being working home alone for nearly 2 years<\/p>\n
I try to put it… you… out of my mind.\u00a0 Hell, I’ve been trying to do that for years.\u00a0 One of these days, it will work<\/p>\n
We had some good times since we met.\u00a0 Some bad ones too.\u00a0 Through it all, I thought we had built something meaningful for both of us.\u00a0 Was I wrong?<\/p>\n
Haunt… months…<\/p>\n
I wanted to do it last week, but you said wait.\u00a0 We were going to get together that one last time.\u00a0 We would do it then<\/p>\n
Did you know?\u00a0 That we would not get together and that you would sneak away and leave me alone to the bad thoughts in my head?<\/p>\n
All I wanted was to say goodbye<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
All I wanted was to say goodbye I’ve known this day was coming.\u00a0 I wasn’t expecting it to be today.\u00a0 I also was expecting it to be today, if that makes any sense.\u00a0 I think that’s why I sent the text Would you have told me if I hadn’t texted?\u00a0 Or would I have found […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-18246","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-turkeytalk"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/learningturkey.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18246","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/learningturkey.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/learningturkey.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/learningturkey.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/learningturkey.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=18246"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/learningturkey.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18246\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":18247,"href":"http:\/\/learningturkey.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18246\/revisions\/18247"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/learningturkey.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=18246"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/learningturkey.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=18246"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/learningturkey.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=18246"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}